Calming the Chaos: A Mom’s Guide to Navigating Anxiety
By Nikki Stromlund– a mom and fellow human who gets it
Anxiety has a way of showing up uninvited — pounding heart, racing thoughts, a sense of dread that makes even simple tasks feel overwhelming. I know this from my own experience as a parent raising teens who battle anxiety.
Like so many parents, when I first noticed the signs of anxiety in my kids, I felt helpless. So, I did what many of us do — I read, studied, asked questions, soaked in everything I could about trauma, anxiety, and the tools that actually help. Through that journey, I learned that while anxiety may not disappear overnight, there are ways to navigate it — for both ourselves and our children.
Here are five of the most practical tools I use and recommend when anxiety strikes:
1. Grounding Through the Five Senses
When anxiety feels like it's spiraling, grounding is one of the fastest ways to interrupt the cycle. A simple exercise is the "5-4-3-2-1" method:
5 things you can see
4 things you can feel
3 things you can hear
2 things you can smell
1 thing you can taste
This tool has become a go-to in our household. There are days that my daughter calls me just to list out her 5,4,3,2,1 and have someone walking through it with her. This is a great tool to help bring your mind back to the present moment, calming both body and mind.
2. Breathe (Yes, Really — But the Right Way)
I used to roll my eyes when people would say, “Just breathe.” But after diving deep into the science of the nervous system, I realized breathing is powerful — when done intentionally.
Try box breathing:
Inhale for 4 counts
Hold for 4 counts
Exhale for 4 counts
Hold for 4 counts
Repeat this for a few minutes.
It slows down your heart rate, regulates your nervous system, and helps reset your body's alarm system. It's a great tool that you can use anywhere and anytime….even standing in a crowd of people.
3. Name It to Tame It
This concept comes from Dr. Dan Siegel, and it has been life-changing. When we name our emotions — out loud or internally — it reduces their intensity.
When my teens tell me, “I’m freaking out right now,” instead of rushing to fix it, I encourage them to simply notice and name: “I feel anxious,” “I’m overwhelmed,” or “My body feels tense.”
This simple act helps shift the brain out of panic mode and into problem-solving mode.
4. Create an Anxiety Plan
One thing I've learned the hard way is that trying to figure out how to cope in the middle of an anxious moment is tough. Instead, make a simple plan when you're calm.
In our family, we call it a “Go-To List.” It might include:
Favorite calming music
A short walk or stretch
A breathing exercise
Calling or texting someone safe
Holding a grounding object (a smooth stone, a soft blanket)
This is like having an emotional first-aid kit ready — for you and your kids.
5. Offer Yourself (and Your Kids) Compassion
This one is less of a “tool” and more of a mindset, but it’s often the most important. Anxiety is not a character flaw — it's part of being human. When I find myself judging my anxious thoughts or wishing my kids weren’t so sensitive, I gently remind myself: We’re doing the best we can.
Self-compassion might sound like:
“It makes sense that I feel this way.”
“I’m not alone in this.”
“This is hard, and I can handle it.”
I’ve seen how healing it is when we treat ourselves with the same kindness we would offer a friend. As a parent, this is a super important thing to instill in our children.
You Are Not Alone
If you’re a parent watching your child struggle with anxiety (or navigating your own), I see you. I’ve been there! You don’t have to be perfect — you just have to keep showing up.
And remember, anxiety is manageable. With the right tools and a little compassion, you and your family can face it head-on. Need a little extra help managing your anxiety or putting tools in place? At Restored Wellness, we would love the opportunity to walk alongside you or your teen! Reach out today info@findrestoredwellness.com.